You Can Hurt Steel – PART II

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Wisdom teeth are normal teeth with claws. They will never let go.

The Dental Surgeon warned us that it could be a complicated procedure due to his age and the looks of his X-rays.

While Jack was in surgery I waited much longer than anticipated. The young girl who went in right before him was out of surgery at least an hour earlier. I watched as her Dad escorted her (held her up) outside and into their waiting vehicle. Other than her drunken stupor, there was just one thing that made me open my eyes widely and cover my mouth to stifle a scream. The girl looked at herself in the mirror, poked her cheeks and started laughing uncontrollably. Like she just ate pot brownies. Then, she started laugh crying while her Dad opened the puke bag with a confused, helpless expression on his face. What the . . .

An hour later, I was called into the private waiting room while the male RN gave me the low down.

“One tooth was growing into his sinus cavity and there was an opening. It has been fixed. He is going to be sore for a few days. Make sure you follow all the directions and ensure he is taking his pills. Pull your car up to the front door, ring this door bell, and I’ll walk him out for you.”

Suddenly, I had to pee. I took my sweet time and revelled in the last few moments of freedom. I was joking about the wanting to see his vulnerability part. I saw that girl; I am incapable of holding up a drunk man 60 pounds heavier than me. He has always taken care of me, how the heck am I going to take care of him?

With my heart pounding, I pressed the door bell and waited. I could hear another nurse reassuring a patient close by, “You are going to see a familiar face waiting for you on the other side of this door.”

“Hiee”

I think my eyes got wide again, “Whet?”

“Oh, you have gauze in your mouth, I thought it was that swollen.”

With the most serious look on his face Jack retorted, “No beb, mm ine. Just eld eh door pen for eh noose.”

“Did you just say ‘No babe, I just held the door open for the nurse?’ ”

“Yaa. I eel copletely noomal.”

“Ok. You look great. Let’s go get your medication and take you home.”

Over the next few days Jack was really sore and a little cranky. He told me the whole process was the most painful experience he has ever come across. This proves you can hurt even steel (or Thor), sometimes.

You Can Hurt Steel – PART I

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Thor’s rippling muscles, steel-plated abs, and sledgehammer

Since Jack of Most Trades is late getting me his guest blog post, here’s a post about him.

When Jack and I first started dating, I was carrying around a lot of baggage and I distinctly remember telling him I didn’t want to hurt him. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “You can’t hurt steel.” This is around the time I started referring to him as Thor, because quite frankly, that is BAD ASS. All I really knew about the real Thor is he roamed around shirtless, wielding a sledge hammer. This was a fairly accurate representation of what I knew of Jack in the early days.

In December, after years of denial, Jack finally got his wisdom teeth removed. If you have ever had dental work done, you know that a unique type of god awful pain accompanies these types of procedures. The kind of pain I had a feeling would still hurt “steel”.

This was going to be Jack’s first time getting knocked out by anaesthesia and I was sort of looking forward to him showing a little vulnerability.  Jack was concerned about how this chemical cocktail worked and whether or not he would be able to feel anything. I did what any loving wife would do; I told him a second-hand story shared with me earlier that week.

“My massage therapist’s 5 year old son had to get some teeth extracted so they decided to put him out. Her and her husband stayed in the room. Apparently you don’t peacefully fall asleep. There is a good minute or two of arms flailing and fighting against it.”

“Oh.”

“But you won’t consciously experience that part. And you won’t feel anything. Even if you do, you won’t remember it.”

“Oh.”

“You might puke when you wake up though.”

“What?!”

“Some people don’t have a great reaction to the medication. You will definitely feel groggy and high. You might also feel sick to your stomach. But you’re steel so I’m sure you will be fine. I didn’t throw up when I got my teeth pulled.”

Re-living this situation, I don’t think I would be good at raising kids.

To Be Continued . . .