In Case of Emergency

 

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Tums: #3 of my top 3 list

Earlier this week, Jack of Most Trades was awakened at 6am by a panicky wife screaming, “something’s on fire!”

Jack ran for the fire extinguisher and rushed through the haze to the basement. I suspected the furnace so we cut the power to it, but the smell of an electrical fire was widespread which made it nearly impossible to pinpoint the problem. We didn’t know if there was a fire in the walls or if we would be required to make a quick escape.

Jack ordered me to start collecting “important shit” just in case evacuation was imminent. (Later, we determined the furnace the culprit and evacuation was not necessary).

Shaking violently, I collected my wits and our material possessions with the most financial and sentimental value. Firstly, and most obviously, I packed our wedding rings. Aside from our house and our vehicles, they are our most expensive possessions. Plus, I like diamonds. I paused to think a moment and decided our passports were important, so I slipped those into my purse along with the rings.
Lastly, in the heat of the moment, I grabbed my Tums antacids from my bedside table. My cheap, completely replaceable, miracle heartburn pills were higher up on my delusional priority list than our computers (full of important business information), my DSLR camera, and my wedding dress. All of these briefly crossed my mind, but my pregnant brain was only capable of processing the most ridiculous one. And yes, Jack had a great laugh at my expense over this one!

To summarize, the top 3 things deemed most valuable to me (during an emergency) are as follows:

1. Wedding Rings
2. Passports
3. A bottle of Tums

On the upside, if Jack and I ever want to renew our vows in Mexico, I’ve got us covered.

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