I’m 28 going on 58. In some ways I’m older than my 85 year old grandmother. In my defence, she’s hip for her age (and her hips are likely stronger than mine).
How can a 20-something year old have ANYTHING in common with a retiree? Here’s a list of 25. If you’re my age, I hope it gives you an “ah-ha!” moment. If not, at least give me a little “ha-ha”.
- I love deals! I can’t wait for garage sale season and I visit the thrift shop on a weekly basis (because I am “For Real Engaged” and planning a wedding).
- When I go grocery shopping, I park by the cart return so my cart is easily returned.
- Turkey Bingo is my idea of a fun Friday outing. For you young folk, this is where you can win a turkey, not enjoy a turkey dinner whilst playing Bingo.
- I am obsessed with gardening. For proof, read “Crazy Garden Lady”, “Still Crazy Garden Lady“, and “Crazy Garden Lady Recklessly Returns”.
- I threw out all my thong underwear years ago and ever since, my underwear has become more and more substantial.
- I am obsessed with cleaning my house. It’s fun!
- A glass of wine and I’m tipsy, but I don’t admit it to ANYONE (except you). If I consume any more than that, I have a headache for 2-3 days.
- I plan my meals around fiber content and I take a probiotic daily.
- I don’t understand current fashion. I don’t understand how or why the “Mr. T” haircut came back in style. In fact, I don’t understand young people at all.
- I watch Days of Our Lives, every day. And, it pisses me off William Horton was switched out for a less attractive version a few months ago. I don’t care if he portrays a homosexual character, he was handsome. BRING BACK WILL!
- I get up to pee at least twice a night.
- I wear diabetic socks. I am not diabetic; I suffer from poor circulation (and so does my Grandma)!
- If I over exert myself (like at Zumba), I’m sore for days.
- Loud music annoys me and hurts my ears.
- I still use recipe cards. I don’t own one of those iPad thingys.
- I’ve heard myself say, “They don’t make things like they used to,” on multiple occasions. Usually when I break shit and need an excuse.
- Texas hold ‘em is a cattle herding technique, right?
- I go to bed at 8:30 on a weeknight and I turn into a pumpkin after midnight on weekends.
- Any movie that came out in the 2000’s is a new release.
- I use anti-aging night cream religiously. I wash my face every night because I heard every time you leave make-up on, your skin ages 7 days.
- I’ve had the same haircut for 20 years – with or without bangs.
- Sky diving? Never. My idea of adventurous is flying to Mexico.
- I shave my legs once a month.
There is no #25 because I couldn’t think of one and I’m stubborn like that.
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