Princess Bridezilla


“I’ll go praying mantis on you.”


I don’t think I will ever get married. . .

I decided this over the weekend while Jack of Most Trades and I toured 5 venues in the Canadian Rocky Mountains. He didn’t want to go and I didn’t understand why until the end of an entire day of BS. After only two tours, we went for a lovely lunch at a restaurant that turned out to be my dream venue. The one I told myself (I didn’t listen) I wouldn’t torture myself visiting because we would never be able to afford it. Not even if we won the lottery.  Other than the goat cheese on my veggie burger and the fact that I could taste only goat cheese for the rest of the day, I digged (dug?) that place. After getting drunk, the only way to keep an open mind after finding my dream wedding setting and having my heart ripped from my chest, we continued on with the BS.

Why the hell do men and women even bother with each other? I don’t get him and he doesn’t get me. We had completely opposing views on the venue thing. Not only that, but men don’t understand that a venue quote is NOT the entire price of the wedding. Five grand isn’t bad. You’re right, it isn’t. It’s the dress, tux, rings, cake, alcohol, decorations, flowers, photographer, DJ, JP, invitations, thank you’s, safe rides home, and all the other random shit that are going to sink us.

Whenever I bring this up, I get a, “Let’s just elope.”

NO! Although I haven’t been picturing my wedding since I was five years old like most women, I am still getting the chance to be a real life princess for a day, a weekend, a month, or really as long as I feel like pulling off the whole “new bride” act. Let me do it and I won’t go praying mantis on you and bite your head off. Princess Bridezilla has a nice ring to it.

I am still tirelessly searching for a beautiful venue (with windows) in Canmore or vicinity that will allow us to stay past midnight and preferably will let us bring our own liquor. It’s tougher than it sounds. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated.

My Favorite: Canmore Miners’ Union Hall (Jack would go bat shit if he had to have his wedding in Downtown Touristville).

Jack’s Favorite: Bill Warren Training Centre at The Nordic Centre (The scenery is amazing, but it is expensive with less flexibility).

sad bride

Don’t let me be a sad bride. Please help me find a venue.

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