Asphalt Alligators

I’ve gotten away from the blogging because I actually got a real job and that completely threw off the whole “lady leisure” premise. Even though I get home at the end of the day, make supper, then go to bed at 8:30PM, I’m still cool. I’m leisurely. Here’s a story from when I was definitely still Lady Leisure. . .

When I was a stay-at-home fiance-to-be, I rarely drove. There was no point. I was completely comfortable at home; cooking, cleaning, and inadvertently doing crazy things. But, when I did drive, LOOK OUT.

Maybe one day I will slap a funny angle on my night terrors situation, at which point I will take you on an in-depth journey through something similar to a 1970’s teenage acid trip (and I know you’re excited because the only acid you’re feeling right now is of the reflux variety). For now, I’ll only mention I was on my way to see the Sleep Psychiatrist. Now, I bet you’re thinking all my unfortunate tales happen due to sleep deprivation; I am not certified to refute that statement, but I will anyway. I’m not sleep deprived.

Picture this: a beautiful, sunny, late summer morning. No fog outside or inside the car. I’m going the speed limit or maybe under because even though I’m leisurely, I always obey posted signs and THE LAW. Smile on my face. . . AAANNDD. . .My heart jumps into my throat.

[By the way, Jack of Most Trades (my fiance if you haven’t been following, but I strongly recommend reading up on my previous blog posts) loves that feeling of your heart in your throat. He told me that once when he swerved on a winding road, in the dark on a rainy evening, while I was sleeping in the passenger seat, in order to avoid driving over a skunk. I screamed and clutched my chest, he laughed. He has done this more than once – the time before it was a porcupine.]

PURE ADRENALINE. Nothing like it.

Back to THIS story. We live in Alberta, Canada and reptiles don’t normally roam rampant on our highways. But, I swear to you, there was an alligator on the road! I’ve attached a photo of a similar alligator that I found during a simple Internet search. This is obviously a widespread problem throughout Canada.Image


  I hope this will educate the public on the dangers of these animals being on Albertan Highways. Luckily, this one had slithered (scuttled?) it’s way to the shoulder or I would have run it over. I hear the speed behind that jaw snap is nothing less than impressive and their teeth are sharp enough to puncture a tire.

I have come up with a solution for these Asphalt Alligators.

We shall allow them to cross UNDER our roads through culverts. I know the extra fencing and signage will be a huge burden on tax payers, but we aren’t just saving the Asphalt Alligators, we are saving tires and potentially human lives!

Alternatively, maybe I am sleep deprived and this is a photo of part of a tire (most likely off a big rig) and not an alligator at all.

Jack of Most Trades received a text message with this exact photo a few minutes after the incident. I told him anyone could have made this mistake. He would have been scared too. Yeah. Right. Lady Leisure strikes again.


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