I slept on a mattress on the floor in our living room at the foot of our decorative electric fireplace. In April, it was 10 degrees Celsius in our home. Yes, that’s right, another joy of homeownership. We arrived home on Sunday from a weekend with my family to a broken furnace. Luckily, Jack of Most Trades researched our issue and found the problem that evening but was unable (or unwilling?) to fix it himself. What people did before Google is beyond me. I was learning how to be an HVAC pro in 15 minutes just by watching a video I found online. I am confident I would have been able to fix our furnace if I had been allowed near it. For some reason I have been kept away from all skilled labour since the “Downspout Incident.”
For an entire night I was cold. I was miserable. Remember how I said I could do without the outdoors? I believe this incident was no accident. The furnace service guy predicted the problem lies in the fact that the previous owners drywalled the basement while the furnace was running. Canada’s Worst Handyman strikes again! This is a believable explanation except that I know the real reason our furnace bit the proverbial dust. Two words: Mother Nature. She knows how much I loathe the outdoors and being cold so she taught me a lesson by bringing the outdoors, in. If I could have a conversation with her, I would probably say something like this:
“Hey Mom, what’s your deal? It is April, we are still getting -15 degree weather, and I am wondering if you should seek help for your senility. I am on your side! I recycle, buy organic and really like trees and fresh air. Next time you get the urge to play a sick joke on me, please don’t. I want to let you know that 10 degrees and sleeping on the ground is a lot like camping. I like camping. I actually LOVE it. So, I win.”
I patiently await Mother Nature’s reply. And it better be accompanied with Spring-like temperatures.